I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Better inside than outside. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Physically? 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 25. 6. Im sorry. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. 2. 88. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Not Bad. I hope you are at your best too. More like give me a sign that. 52. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Nowadays, potential mates need money. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. 2. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Don't Push It Too Far. What a miracle. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. There are nosy people everywhere! If you are, then maybe were meant to be! In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Privacy Policy. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Financially? For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Share the best GIFs now >>> Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. 1. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Shane from The L Word? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Thank you Fred. 15. I dont think youre stupid. 17. But half the time, it is a nightmare. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. (bonus points to you if you sing it). My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. I just woke up like that one day. How do you usually respond to the question? You win the internet. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Scroll down! 7. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Sounds like effort to me. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. 15. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. I always root for the little guy. Chuck Bass? Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. What should I doI like you too much. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. At minding my own business? Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Stop asking me why Im single! Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. 69. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Checklists & Reminders! My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. . Youre free to go. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. 1. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Reply. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? 22. How did you get here? While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! 12. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. I really thought you already knew. 86. Because Jamaican me crazy!